Man…I just can’t let these things go…..it’s the jock in me…or that never ending sense of entitlement… one of two for sure….

Norburn is my 2nd hood, I really like it….it’s kind of a throwback suburb…no costco here…no yoga studio….no bong shop….no boutique….it’s pretty much produce places…butcher shops…delis and vacuum stores….and my favourite ghetto breaky…..Jane’s.

This is a long one…..

The 3.50 (just upped from 2.99) breakfast attracts all sorts of people….except I have yet seen an actual hipster or douchebag here… they haven’t quite caught on in Burnaby yet I guess…it’s funny the odd time a group of hung over suburban goons will stare me down and it always takes me a moment to click out of Vancouver mode…. ‘Oh you can stare me down….but I was doing TONS of cool shit in the 90′s..seriously.’ and click into Burnaby mode…. ‘Oh god….the kappa soccer team is going to beat the crap out of me…probably because I’m wearing a scarf….’

The breakfast as you might guess is greasy…no suprise there.  The one thing that I found really amazing though, was that unlike sushi which accordingly to dinehere.ca, only Japanese people can make, this place, despite the western cuisine, is employed completely by non westerners… Chinese people in fact….I checked.

‘You guys sure you’re not hiding a white guy somewhere?’

Eating breakfast, reading the paper, by myself, is heaven to me, this may seem backwards, but in my mind, these simple enjoyments will eventually lead me to Nirvana.  It’s really complicated…..

So one Sunday morning, I slept in a bit and strolled up to Jane’s.  The place was packed with groups of people, all except for one lone tired looking old man in a booth at the back.  ”Whoah…weird guy at the back by himself…” Then I realized that he had a table…I didn’t….’Lucky Guy…” I thought as I turned around to leave.

“You want table??!?!”  It was one of the waitresses from Jane’s, hollering at me from almost the kitchen.

“Uh….no….well…I’ll come back…don’t worry…”

“You by youself?!”

It’s amazing how all those ‘lone wolf…I am a rock…’ conversations I had with myself in my teens really prepped me for nothing…..because at that point…the whole restaurant was waiting for an answer….and I was stammering….

“Uh….”

“You sit with him!”  She said pointing at ‘Lucky Guy’ in the back….wait..not just the back…in the BOOTH in the back….

Now I got everyone’s attention,….you know the car wreck analogy…this wasn’t so much a car wreck…this was like…a guy in his car…picking his nose….and everyone was watching to see if I would eat it…..Yum.

I almost had a Vancouver moment where I mumbled the cure all “Sorry…” and walked away, but something drew me to the back….maybe it was ‘Lucky Guy’….

Or not.  Lucky Guy didn’t even acknowledge me…. he was deeply involved in reading…the paper of all things.

Jane’s service is top notch, one waitress runs the whole joint, she was on me right away and like Pavlov’s dogs the moment the waitress and I made eye contact and my ‘uh…ah…ums…’ were:

“Sausage, scramble, brown with peanut butter.  Coffee.”

And of course the awesome place Jane’s is…I got it all four minutes later.

I then just carried on what I normally do….’OK…what’s going on today?”

First the sports….then the front page….entertainment…..careers?  who cares about this stuff?…..And the breakfast….first the sausage cause it’s the new bacon….then the hashbrowns cause they’ll get cold…and eggs!  without them there would be no ketchup…and finally the toast… the dessert of breakfast….

Oh Heaven.

I was just about to say…”Excuse me sir….I hate to disturb you…if you don’t mind me saying….this is probably the best first date I’ve ever been on…”  but I was distracted by an informative piece in the homes section…somehow they’re bringing Yaletown to Maple Ridge!…..I get like that….so into ‘the now’….the news…my breakfast…so focused…even when ‘the future’ is sitting across the table from me eating his breakfast.