Words: Brad Paul
Photos courtesy: VDL
What the heck is dodgeball? A better question is, why would anybody willingly subject themselves to the agony, humiliation, and terror of a sport known for giving teenagers post traumatic stress disorder?
“It's the only place I know is socially acceptable for me to throw things at other adults,” says Kaitlin Sterndale-Bennet, Vancouver Dodgeball League executive.
That's great... dodgeball sounds like Fight Club. I'm going to show up, get hit in the money maker and the baby maker, then go home embarrassed, sad, and pushing thirty.
If that's what you're thinking your attitude stinks, and here's why. Put on this VR helmet of Dodgeball:
It's the 2013 Fall Playoffs. Far out... people sure loved jeggings in 2013.
You stand on the dodgeball court, staring down six other players on the opposite wall. The fear creeps into you. You feel like you're standing on the wrong end of a bowling alley.
The middle of the court has six bright red balls on a line. Referees stand watch and one of them showboats an introduction with flamboyant wrist flicks, “Teams, are you ready? Three, two, one, DODGEBALL!”
Your team mate runs up, grabs three balls, throws them back, and you get one. Here's your chance to shine. A few cautious steps forward, eyeing your enemy. You squeeze the ball in your grip, realizing it's not actually rubber, it's foamy with a plastic rhino skin. With all your might you throw, and it floats like a dandelion poof across the court.
While you're watching your slow missile mouth agape, something hits you in the stomach at speeds of 60 mph. You bellow out oof and take to the sidelines with your fallen comrades. The thought occurs to you, if a car hit me at that speed, I'd be dead! On a pain scale, you'd rank that hit as a belly slap felt through a poofy winter jacket. The squishy ball doesn't hurt!
With fear, humiliation, and pain out of the way there's nothing but playing the game.
You still stink, but you're having fun.
Studying the game from the sidelines might help with that stink. Look at the way lanky Jim jumps whenever they throw at him. I could do that, you realize. There's also squatting Suzy in the booty shorts. She's fearlessly on her knees but keeps catching people out. Remember that team that beat you? They throw together and that little bit of teamwork makes their unatheletic team formidable. Our team should learn that. You realize to your surprise, as many others have before you, I'm ready to try some new moves. I want back on the court!
“Other leagues are more focused on improving the competition so that it is an elite sport similar to other professional sports. For the Vancouver Dodgeball League, our focus is on accessibility and inclusion. If you want to play, we want you to get to play,” executive Kaitlin Sterndale-Bennet says.
Dodgeball has evolved from the high school gym into an underground success story (though a league that houses 1200 players per season can hardly be considered underground). It's not quite underground, this is just as big as it gets – until next season when it gets bigger.
“Our focus right now is growing VDL and our presence in the Lower Mainland and British Columbia. VDL is expanding Wednesdays to 48 teams and Thursdays we're expanding to 64 teams,” says VDL executive Kaitlin Sterndale-Bennet. “We're focused on our community and spreading the dodgeball love.”
That's it for you, warrior. Pick a goofy name and sign up with your friends for an expansion team. Find out for yourself what all the kerfuffle is about.
Like the Vancouver Dodgeball League on Facebook, and check out www.vdldodgeball.ca
