"Ice cream with a twist" is the slogan for a new soft serve ice cream shop opening up in downtown Vancouver. Except, based on their pre-opening marketing, Perverted Ice Cream's "twist" is...sex.
Ice cream is lots of things: Indulgent, fun, celebratory, comforting, cross-generational. But kinky? There is the "ice cream scene" in 50 Shades Freed...but I'm not sure we have a case of life imitating art here.
Slated to go into 797 Thurlow Street, Perverted Ice Cream recently posted a video teaser showing a very impressive continuous stream of what appears to be chocolate and vanilla twisted soft serve being swirled with pop-R&B singer Dawin's "Dessert" playing:
"They can imitate you
But they can't duplicate you
'Cause you got something special
That makes me wanna taste you
I want it all day long
I'm addicted like it's wrong
I want it all day long
I'm addicted like it's--
Whatcha gon'
Whatcha gon' do with that dessert."
If the dessert in question is a waffle cone filled with ice cream, well, sir, I'm going to eat it. Maybe I don't need to know what you're going to do with it. Just eating ice cream might be naughty as far as doctors are concerned thanks to the insidious nature of sugar, but is it, like, naughty naughty?
Do ice cream and sex need to go together? Does one need ample amounts of both in life to not find Perverted Ice Cream a little gross?
Here's a little more from their marketing. One of their hashtags: #whenicomeicecream.
Hey now.
And, yes, there are photos of an ice cream cone melting. Oooh, baby.
But then Perverted spanks us for thinking dirty. "With...our tongues...in our cheeks" is a three-photo click-through for one Instagram words-only post. "A twist...on a classic...#getyourmindoutofthegutter" on another.
They've got "Naked chocolate" and vanilla that isn't vanilla (looks like it's a "naked cream" flavour) and "nice ash," (wink!) except ash is referring to the charcoal waffle cone. Okay. So they are clearly playing with us. Pun NOT intended. Maybe. I don't even know anymore.
There isn't much else to glean about Perverted Ice Cream (and I can't open their website itself on my work computer because apparently our servers have blocked anything "perverted," insert sobbing face emoji here), besides what they've put out there on social media.
I've reached out to Perverted Ice Cream via their Facebook page to see if they are available to chat about their soft serve and it's sex-centric hard sell, and will happily update with their insights if they are willing to share. In the meantime, follow @pervertedicecream on Instagram to find out when they're coming. (Sorry, couldn't help it.)
