The Vancouver Canucks are in the bottom third of the league in goals-per-game and are missing their captain, who is second on the team in points. The Florida Panthers are one of the stingiest teams in the league and Roberto Luongo is having one of the best seasons of his career and has been nearly unbeatable.
So, of course, the Canucks beat him a whole bunch of times, because they never do anything that makes sense. I mean, not enough times to win, because these are the 2015-16 Canucks we’re talking about, but enough times to not not win and not not not lose.
Like a triple negative, the Canucks constantly confused me when I watched this game.
- With Henrik on the shelf like the elf from Elf on a Shelf, 19-year-old rookie Jared McCann was tasked with centring the top line between Daniel Sedin and Jannik Hansen. He did his job, assisting on the opening goal by getting in on the forecheck and shoving Eric Gudbranson, who has about 5 inches and 40 lbs on McCann, off the puck and centring it for Alex Biega. He fired a wristshot and Hansen directed it home like it was an Uber driver.
- No one held a lead for more than 6 minutes in this game, with Shawn Thornton, of all people, tying up the game at one. He was assisted beautifully by Ben Hutton, who laid the puck gently on Thornton’s stick like he was hanging his mom’s favourite glass ornament on the tree.
- Though it’s not the way we thought it would happen, Bo Horvat is finally centring the second line, and he, Sven Baertschi, and Radim Vrbata were, at times, the best line on the ice. They put the Canucks back up by one when Matt Bartkowski caught the Panthers on a bad line change, springing Horvat and Baertschi in on a 2-on-1. Horvat centred the puck for Baertschi, who held off Willie Mitchell and roofed it like he was building a gingerbread house. Except without icing or the whistle would have blown.
- The Panthers tied it up before the end of the first period, capitalizing on a late Linden Vey penalty and some truly atrocious penalty killing by Matt Bartkowski, who just kind of drifted towards the puck, leaving Jaromir frickin’ Jagr alone at the backdoor. His goal moved him into frickin’ 4th all-time in goalscoring past Marcel frickin’ Dionne, so maybe keep an eye on him on the frickin’ penalty kill next time. Frick.
- The Panthers took their first lead of the game from another great assist by the Canucks. This time, Chris Higgins intercepted a pass from Vincent Trocheck by tipping it directly back to him. Trocheck then Trokicked it up to his stick and Troshot it into the net. I am Trosorry for that sentence.
- Sidenote: Vincent Trocheck totally looks like a smaller, more weaselly Maxim Lapierre, right? I can’t be the only one who sees this.
- On Saturday I pointed out that when the Canucks are down by one, Derek Dorsett gets more even-strength ice time than the Sedins. So of course he was on the ice for the first shift after the Panthers took a one goal lead and of course he scored 30 seconds later. It was a great goal too, kicking his own rebound out from under Luongo’s glove, then quickly going forehand-backhand at the side of the net to tuck the puck in the post, where momma sends her Christmas cards.
- Like a super-lame version of Batman, the Canucks’ penalty kill struck again, this time not only leaving Jagr alone at the side of the net, but also Aaron Ekblad all alone at the backdoor. Guys, it’s Christmastime. No one wants to be alone at Christmastime. You’re ruining Christmas, Canucks’ PK. Ruining it.
- The Canucks replied again, with Daniel and Hansen executing a lovely give-and-go on a 2-on-1 that left Luongo trying to make a two-pad stack on a Hansen shot that never came. Hansen’s unexpected return pass to Daniel had Shorthouse and Garrett saying he “looked like a right-handed Henrik.” But here’s the thing: though they’re identical twins, Daniel is left-handed and Henrik is right-handed. Henrik is already the right-handed Henrik!
- It turns out the Canucks’ new overtime plan is to literally play it as if it’s a penalty kill just to get it to the shootout. This is a horrible plan and I hate it. But it explains why we saw Biega, Bartkowski, and Dorsett, rather than Hutton or Weber, though, to be honest, I trust Hutton defensively more than I do Biega or Bartkowski. Though I trust a cardboard cutout of C3PO more defensively than Bartkowski at this point.
- As if this game needed extra drama, Ryan Miller provided it, cramping up after Florida’s first shooter, Brandon Pirri, beat him. Jacob Markstrom stepped in and made a save on Jonathan Huberdeau, but couldn’t stop Aleksander Barkov’s sick move, probably because he didn’t want to catch anything before Christmas. Being sick at Christmas is the worst.
- That meant the Canucks needed two of their three shooters to score and McCann was the only who delivered, improvising a nifty deke and roof job after bobbling the puck. Radim Vrbata and Sven Baertschi made decent enough attempts, but Luongo snagged them both like they were loose-knit sweaters.
