There are all sorts of competing philosophies when it comes to the NHL draft, with scouting teams battling it out in long meetings to determine their draft boards based on those philosophies.
That’s why the order of players picked in the draft seldom resembles public draft rankings. Some teams focus on high-end skating, hoping the rest of their game will catch up to their feet. Others hone in on hockey sense, believing intelligence will overcome deficiencies elsewhere. Still others prize size, trying to find the type of power forward or towering defenceman that can thrive in a playoff environment.
What all those philosophies overlook, however, is a key part of the fan experience: a player’s name.
Fans love players with great names — names that are fun to say to your fellow fans, fun to hear coming out of a play-by-play announcer’s mouth, and fun to see on the back of a jersey. A great hockey name immediately makes a player more memorable or, at least, more memeable.
Consider how humdrum hockey history would be without names like Zarley Zalapski, Sprague Cleghorn, Dit Clapper, and Tony Twist. Names like Darren Puppa, Grant Clitsome, and Ron Tugnutt are essential for winning over juvenile hockey fans and adult hockey fans with juvenile senses of humour.
Accordingly, Pass it to Bulis produces its own annual draft ranking based solely on names. This isn’t about the best player available but the best name available.
This is the seventh year of the PITB draft name rankings and the Vancouver Canucks have picked from these lists in the past, taking great names like Jack Rathbone, Jett Woo, and Nils Höglander, all of whom are still with the organization.
Last year’s list featured such luminaries as Jagger Firkus, Luca Del Bel Belluz, and Gleb Trikozov. Can any of this year’s names compete with those greats? Let’s take a look at the top 20 after some honourable mentions.
Honourable Mentions
Will Smith, Florian Murg, Will Subject, Teddy Manlove, Ryan Fine, Jagger Tapper, Brock Beer, Axel Sandin Pellikka, Lucas Stockselius, Mathieu Paris, William Whitelaw, Mario Patalakha, Hoyt Stanley, Thomas Chafe, Alexander Assadourian, Lenni Hämeenaho, Gracyn Sawchyn, Quentin Musty, Norwin Panocha
There are a few great names in the honourable mentions that just missed the cut. “Will Smith” is fun because it’s the name of a celebrity, but at the end of the day, it’s still a pretty pedestrian name. “Smith” isn’t particularly compelling on the back of a sweater.
Brock Beer would be on the list if he was at all a legitimate prospect because a “Beer” jersey would sell out so fast it’s not even funny.
Gracyn Sawchyn was a tough one to cut, but let’s face it, hockey parents don’t need to be encouraged to give their kids ordinary names with a random “Y” in them, so he gets cut.
20 | Oliver Bonk
This name would be higher on the list if not for his father, Radek Bonk, poisoning the well. “Radek” is, simply put, a much radder name than “Oliver.”
Still, it’s hard to argue against how wonderful “Bonk” looks on the back of a hockey sweater, so Oliver still makes the list, but only just.
Bonk is a legitimate prospect, with an outside chance of getting picked late in the first round. He’s a 6’1” right-shooting defenceman with a strong shutdown game, though his offensive upside is likely limited.
Some team is going to get Bonk’d next week.
19 | Francesco Dell’elce
Look, I’m a sucker for an apostrophe in the middle of a name. You can blame my childhood love of fantasy novels for that one.
Beyond that, Francesco Dell’elce is just a delicious-sounding name, possibly because it sounds similar to dulce de leche. The name just rolls beautifully off the tongue and will likely be a favourite of play-by-play announcers for years to come.
Dell’elce is also a solid prospect, even if he’s taking the unusual route of playing Canadian high school hockey in his draft year. The 6’0” defenceman caught the attention of scouts with his high-end skating and shot as he piled up 62 points in 51 games for St. Andrew’s College.
En route to the BCHL to play for the Penticton Vees next season, Dell’elce is likely to be picked somewhere in the middle rounds next week.
18 | Anton Topilnyckyj
What a great name. “Topilnyckyj” is fun to say and fun to spell, with two “Y”s and a “J” at the end for some added spice. That’s a name that properly stretches across the back of a hockey sweater.
The name appropriately topples off the tongue and it gets some consonance to boot from the “to” in Anton. That’s a solid hockey name.
Topilnyckyj is a solid hockey player too. He’s a potential late-round pick thanks to his shutdown game as a 6’2” defenceman, using his long reach and east-west mobility to close gaps.
He still needs to improve his top-end speed and his puck-moving game is very limited right now, but there’s a project there for a team willing to take a chance on him.
17 | Salvatore Guzzo
Salvatore is a swashbuckling first name and Guzzo is a gut-punch of a last name. This name is extremely Italian.
Even better “Guzzo” basically translates as “aggressive puppy,” which is amazing. It also kind of sounds like an off-brand Slurpee. I can picture myself popping down to the corner store to pick up a Guzzo and some Creme Betweens.
The only thing keeping Salvatore Guzzo from being higher up this list is that his two names don’t go together in a unique way, even if they’re both Italian in origin. There’s no alliteration or consonance and they don’t flow particularly well. As a result, the two names are additive instead of multiplicative, if that makes sense.
Guzzo played for the US National Team Development Program and, while he didn’t excel like some of his teammates, could be a late-round pick thanks to his excellent shot and decent defensive game.
Guzzo had 29 points in 59 games with the USNTDP and 4 points in 7 games at the World Under-18 Championship.
16 | Alexander Hellnemo
In a really weird crossover between Pixar and Clive Barker’s Hellraiser franchise, look for Finding Hellnemo this summer, likely on a streaming service you don’t have. This time, Nemo’s been possessed by a demon, I guess, and Marlin and Dory have to team up to find his soul.
While let down by a pedestrian first name, “Hellnemo” is such a gloriously unlikely last name that he had to end up on this list.
Hellnemo is also a pretty decent goaltending prospect, who put up a .916 save percentage in the J20 Nationell league in Sweden and ended up ranked number one on Central Scouting’s list of European goaltenders despite being 19 and in his second year of draft eligibility. Goalies are weird, man.
Hellnemo even held his own against men in the SHL and HockeyAllsvenskan, though his numbers weren’t quite as good. He’s got the size, athleticism, and compete level that catches the attention of goaltending scouts, even though his technique needs a lot of work to curb some of his more aggressive tendencies and help him with his consistency in between some of his more spectacular saves.
15 | Lucas Littlejohn
“Robin Hood and Littlejohn walkin’ through the forest, laughin’ back and forth at what the other‘un has to say.”
Little John is primarily known as Robin Hood’s best friend and most loyal companion. Littlejohn is known as a puck-moving offensive defenceman.
The alliteration certainly elevates Lucas Littlejohn’s name and his game on the ice isn’t bad either. He had 36 points in 34 games for the Pickering Panthers in the OJHL, which led all first-time draft-eligible OJHL defencemen in scoring.
He’s not going to get picked in the NHL draft, however, as he’s a two-sport athlete. He’s already committed to the University of Richmond on a lacrosse scholarship.
14 | Hunter Brzustewicz
Lord help the poor play-by-play announcers trying to pronounce Hunter Brzustewicz’s name by sight.
It’s actually not that hard to pronounce once you know what it is — the trick is to basically ignore the first zed, hit that “w” with a Germanic “v” sound, and emphasize the second syllable, giving you “brew-STEHV-itch.”
Even with the pronunciation down pat, Brzustewicz is a glorious name to put on the back of a hockey jersey, the type of name that would make Chance the Rapper take one look and say, “Nah.”
Brzustewicz is a good bet to get picked somewhere in the second round thanks to his ability to transition the puck up ice and quarterback the power play. The 6’0” defenceman had 57 points in 68 games in the OHL this season, most of them assists, and earned praise for his ability on the breakout.
Brzustewicz also sees a future for himself in sports media as a broadcaster.
The odds are good that Brzustewicz will be a great quote for the media of whichever team drafts him, so sportswriters better learn how to write his name.
13 | Jaromír Pérez
I love names that speak to how marvelously multicultural hockey can be at its best. Jaromír Pérez is just a fantastically incongruous combination of Slavic and Spanish names.
Add in that the first name reflects hockey royalty in Jaromír Jagr and this name is a winner.
Perez is ranked 72nd among European skaters by Central Scouting after the 17-year-old winger put up 28 points in 46 games in the Czechia under-20 league and represented Czechia in international competition. He wasn’t all that productive, by any means, but scouts like his skating, stickhandling, and two-way game.
While a longshot, perhaps a team takes a chance on him in the seventh round.
12 | Vojtech Port
Vojtech Port is the most cyberpunk name I’ve ever heard. In fact, I’m pretty sure most cyborgs in the future will come with a Vojtech Port in order to jack in to the overnet and hack The Corporation’s satdrive.
Of course, “Vojtech” is a pretty common name in Czechia and Slovakia but it’s still quite cool. It’s the combination with “Port” that gives it the legs to vault into the top 20 best names in the draft.
As for the actual draft, Port could be a late-round pick. With an August birthday, the 6’2” right-side defenceman is one of the younger prospects in the draft and likely has more offensive upside than his paltry 17 points in 46 WHL games with the Edmonton Oil Kings would indicate.
A combination of deception and puck skills make Port a wizard at eluding opposing forecheckers, even if his offensive tools are in a raw state at the moment. He’s also strong defensively, using his mobility to aggressively close gaps and kill rushes when they’ve barely had a chance to start.
Port’s ranked as high as 91st by Elite Prospects, but is a likely late-round pick.
11 | Visa Vedenpää
Visa Vedenpää is everywhere you want to be.
Another wonderfully alliterative name, Visa Vedenpää is a promising young goaltender out of Finland who is ranked 7th among European goaltenders by Central Scouting. He got into one game for Finland at the World Under-18 Championship, allowing two goals to Latvia.
Visa, vis-à-vis his development track, has a lot going for him. He’s with Kärpät, who developed NHL goaltenders Pekka Rinne and Nicklas Bäckström in their system and even helped Tim Thomas resurrect his career.
Is that any guarantee that Vedenpää can develop similarly? Of course not, but he’ll still have a chance to play against men in the Finnish Liiga next season if he takes hold of the opportunity. With that in mind, a team might invest in Visa with a late-round pick and hope he increases in value like compound interest.
10 | Dalibor Dvorský
Alliteration strikes again with Dalibor Dvorský, which just rattles off the tongue nicely when you say it out loud.
“Dalibor” sounds like a name out of Lord of the Rings, like Boromir, Isildur, or Denethor. It feels like he should be introduced as “Dalibor of Dol Amroth, Explorer of Belegaer.” The name literally means “fighting far away,” which seems appropriate for a player who left his Slovakian home at a young age to play in Sweden and is about to head over the Atlantic Ocean to play in North America.
“Dvorský” sounds like someone got a divorce but just a little one.
Dvorský was outstanding for Slovakia at the World Under-18 Championship, scoring 8 goals and 13 points in 7 games.
Dvorský is one of the top centres in the draft and might be an option for the Canucks at 11th overall if he doesn’t get snapped up by a team in the top ten.
9 | Filip Sitar
A sitar is a lute-style instrument with 18-21 strings that originated in India.
Filip Sitar has the same name as a musical instrument. This concludes my explanation of why this name is great.
Sitar had a pretty strong season in the J20 Nationell league in Sweden, with 33 points in 40 games. He even played one game in the HockeyAllsvenskan, Sweden’s second-tier men’s league, where he scored a goal.
Look, all I’m saying is that not even Elias Pettersson was a point-per-game in the Allsvenskan in his draft year.
Sitar is a long shot to get drafted. The centre lacks a standout quality to his game, though Elite Prospects describes him as a “smart cookie.”
8 | Will Vote
The tough part about wearing a “Vote” jersey is that people won’t be able to tell if you’re a fan of the player or just a liberal trying to convince you that protesting is not the right way to create lasting political change.
I just admire the chutzpah in having a last name like “Vote” and giving your child a name that can be used as a verb like “Will.” If it ever comes out that Will Vote didn’t vote in an election, questions will be asked — it’s literally in his name that he will participate in the electoral process.
The 5’7” winger had a strong season with the US National Team Development Program, putting up 45 points in 61 games, then 7 points in 7 games at the World Under-18 Championship. He’s a slippery, hard-working player with some two-way ability to go with his puck skills and passing.
The trouble for Vote is that he’s very, very small and lacks the high-end skating to make up for his lack of size. A team might take a chance on him with a late-round pick but his path to the NHL is likely to excel at Boston College for four years and earn a contract as an undrafted free agent. He’s got my, er, vote.
7 | Joshua Player
This name feels like someone started the “create a player” mode of a video game and changed the first name of their avatar but forgot to change the last name, leaving it with the default name of “Player.”
There’s something so appealing about the idea of fans buying Player’s jersey. Imagine having a Canucks jersey with the name “Player” on the back and having to explain to people that no, you’re not just a fan of hockey players as a concept but of a specific hockey player named “Player.”
Alternatively, maybe you’re just a fan of the absurdist talk show stylings of Craig Ferguson and his classic catchphrase, “Here come the players!” and want to advertise that in the form of a hockey sweater.
All I’m saying is that there are a lot of reasons to love Player as a name.
Josh Player is unlikely to get drafted but the right-side defenceman is on his way to the University of New Hampshire in the NCAA, where being named “Player” surely won’t lead to any jokes whatsoever amongst the frat bros.
6 | Lazarus Constant
It might be stretching the definition of “prospect” to include a player out of Junior B hockey, but the name Lazarus Constant is simply too marvelous to ignore.
Sure, “The Lazarus Constant” sounds like it should be a Dean Koontz novel but that doesn’t take anything away from its appeal. Constant is such a literally solid last name, while Lazarus is about as fantastical as Biblical names get, as Lazarus is one of Jesus of Nazareth’s closest friends who he raises from the dead.
The 6’1” forward from the Opaskwayak Cree Nation can play too. He only played 9 games with the OCN Storm in the Junior B KJHL, but he piled up 20 points in those 9 games, then finished second in KJHL playoff scoring with 17 points in 10 games. That production elevates him above other great names in Junior B hockey, like Brock Beer and gets him on the list.
Constant, who goes by “Laz,” has also played as a defenceman, so there are some two-way credentials there. He has also represented Team Nunavut at the National Aboriginal Hockey Championships and even played for Team Canada at an Atom tournament in Europe back in 2016.
Look, Constant isn't getting drafted but I love his name and I’m pulling for him to make a name for himself in professional hockey someday and resurrect his dream of playing in the NHL.
5 | Daniil But
Sure, the uncultured among us might think that But is a great name because it’s spelled similarly to the abbreviation for “buttocks” but the more highbrow hockey fan knows that “but” is the French word for goal, making this an absolutely incredible hockey name.
I really want Daniil But to get drafted by the Montreal Canadiens and to score a goal in his first NHL Game so the announcer can say, “Et le but de But à ses débuts!”
Okay, sure, technically “But” is pronounced like “boot” with the “T” on the end, but I’m choosing to ignore that, as will Canadiens fans if he gets drafted by Montreal.
But is also a very good prospect and will likely be a late first-round pick despite the Russian factor as 6’5” wingers with finesse and playmaking talent are exceedingly rare.
He needs quite a bit of work on his skating but someone is going to take a chance on this kid’s raw talent because of his towering size.
4 | Matthew Mania
“WHATCHA GONNA DO, BROTHER, WHEN MATTHEW MANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?!?!”
Not only does Matthew Mania’s name invoke memories of Hulk Hogan in the eighties, “Mania” is also the Roman goddess of the dead, who ruled the underworld. That’s badass.
Mania is also a promising prospect who could get picked as high as the second round. The right-shot defenceman put up 38 points in 67 games in the OHL, which doesn’t fully capture his creativity and talent with the puck.
Mania is capable of incredible end-to-end rushes, slaloming through opponents with his deception and dangling. He’s superb at transitioning the puck up ice and is dangerous in the offensive zone, as he activates off the blue line regularly, attacks the middle of the ice, and has a great shot.
The trouble with Mania is the chaos, as he skates himself into danger and is inconsistent defensively.
“The chaotic nature of Mania’s game means there’s a chance he always lacks the refinement to hold down regular minutes,” reads his scouting report from Elite Prospects. “But he has the skill, confidence, and creation mindset of a top-four, point-producing defenceman.”
3 | Hugo Hell
The NHL has already seen Satan, so it’s not surprising that it would eventually go to Hell.
“Hell” is an incredibly metal name to have on the back of a hockey sweater and it gives the New Jersey Devils a chance to correct the grave injustice that they never traded for or signed Miroslav Satan when he was in the NHL. The Devils simply must draft Hell next week if only for the jersey sales that would inevitably follow.
Beyond that, Hell is elevated into true greatness by an alliterative first name in Hugo that, when put together, sounds like a stinging invective: “You go [to] hell!”
Hell is a decent prospect too: a smooth-skating defenceman out of Sweden, who is one of the youngest players in the draft thanks to his September birthday. While he’s still very raw, there are some interesting tools that could make him a late-round pick for a team looking to take a chance on his development.
“Hell’s skating mechanics are pro-calibre. He has a good amount of ankle flexion, depth and a consistent upper-body,” reads his scouting report from Elite Prospects. “Hell’s most interesting flashes came through activation, whether that was in-zone or off the rush. He looks for give-and-go opportunities at the point and joins rushes through the middle as a trailer option.”
2 | Zigmund Zöld
It’s tough having a name that starts with a “Z” and it’s especially tough when both of your names start with a “Z.” Whether they go by first name or last name, he’s always on the bottom of the list. Except when you put his initials together: then he’s ZZ Top.
Fortunately, Zigmund Zöld’s name is a lot better than that joke. Alliterative names are always a plus and the rarity of a double-Z alliterative name rockets this one nearly to the top of the list.
In terms of the meaning of Zigmund Zöld’s name, it’s pretty cool too. It roughly translates to Victorious Protector of the Green, which would be a badass title for an environmentalist.
As a prospect, Zöld is less exciting, unfortunately. The 6’3” centre came over from Zlovakia — sorry, I meant Slovakia — to play for the Val-d’Or Foreurs in the QMJHL but struggled with just 3 points in 21 games before returning to Slovakia to split time between their two men’s leagues.
There still might be something there with Zöld beyond his name, as he had some strong seasons in Slovakia’s junior leagues prior to his draft year, but he’s unlikely to get picked next week.
1 | Ephram McNutt
I am not made of stone. Like anyone else, I see the name “Ephram McNutt” and it makes me smile. You wanna get McNutts? Come on, let’s get McNutts!
There is so much to love about this name. Yes, the last name “McNutt” is fantastic, the type of last name the broiest bros you know will immediately want on the back of their hockey sweaters, but let’s not look past “Ephram,” which is a pretty rare first name.
It’s got a Biblical origin, as Ephraim was one of the sons of Joseph, so we’ve got a traditional Hebrew first name and an Irish Gaelic last name, a unique combination.
Regrettably, McNutt is unlikely to get drafted next week. While he’s a perfectly cromulent WHL defenceman, who played 55 games for the Prince George Cougars this past season, he didn’t really catch the attention of NHL scouts.
McNutt scored a goal on his very first shift with the Cougars but alertly jumping up in the play and adroitly finishing on a pass that was behind him. Unfortunately, that was his only goal of the season and he managed just 8 points in his 55 games.
Still, if it’s wrong to want Ephram McNutt on your hockey team, then I don’t want to be right.
