Ask Mish..
I think I might be allergic to my boyfriend’s semen. Anytime I go down on him and his semen gets in my mouth, my throat starts to close up and I can’t swallow at all. My mouth gets crazy itchy too and uncomfortable. However, I don’t notice it when we have vaginal intercourse. I don’t understand what is going on. Is this a thing? Am I allergic to his semen?
–Semen Scare
Unfortunately, being allergic to cum is a thing called seminal plasma hypersensitivity. It’s an extremely rare condition, basically the sexual equivalent of being struck by lightning. I’m sorry that you happened to be standing in a wide open field in the middle of a cum storm.
According to Dr. Andrew Goldstein of the University of Cincinnati, between 20,000 and 40,000 women in the United States have allergic reactions to their spouse’s semen (women report higher numbers of seminal plasma hypersensitivity than gay men). For couples who want to conceive, this becomes a huge hurdle. Doctors throughout North America have tried developing different treatments to beat this allergy, such as diluting the man’s semen and injecting that new fluid into the women’s vagina or creating a serum used like a vaccine to immunize the woman. Some women react so brutally they break out in hives and their eyes swell shut and stay that way for days. Literally blinded by the white.
There was a 2014 story in XO Jane where Leonie Blackwell detailed how her severe allergy to her fiancé’s cum ruined her marriage. Eventually she resorted to natural remedies and found solace in a reishi mushroom extract that eventually cured her.
If you use condoms this is most likely why you are not noticing symptoms during intercourse. That latex shield is protecting you from more than just unwanted STDs and pregnancy. However, if you are not using condoms, it’s safe to say that this is not a semen allergy. Either way, go and talk to your gynecologist, who will conduct some intradermal testing (they will inject a small amount of your boyfriend’s semen into your skin to test your reaction) and determine what is going on. I opted for less schooling in a exchange for a smaller salary. The woman at the end of the stirrups with the degree in medicine will know what to do.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. Not everything is perfect, but I do think I love him. However, I cannot handle his family. They are not mean people by any means, just dysfunctional and a mess. I feel this overwhelming dread when I have to spend time with them, which of course, makes me riddled with guilt for being so heartless. I have this feeling my boyfriend is going to propose, but I honestly cannot imagine marrying into that family. I don’t know how to talk about this with him without coming off as insulting and rude. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just break up now, but that option breaks my heart. Help.
–Family Feud
How big of an issue the family thing is really depends on how involved your boyfriend is with them. Do they live in the same city as you both? Do you have to see them all the time? If you are being forced into an awkward Sunday dinner once a week with a bunch of people who make you want to stab out your eyes with a fork, then I understand your dread. However, if you only have to see these people on major holidays, then maybe you can suck it up and deal? If this is the case and they are still so brutally unattractive to you that even two measly visits a year is too much then, you got to call it.
There is nothing more cruel than a spouse who pries a wedge between their partner and their family for selfish reasons. That’s not love. If you really, really loved this guy you would find a way to put up with his family, maybe even like them.
I know that gin helps people become tolerable. Pain killers too.
To be honest though, I don’t think you are in love with this guy. If you were, you wouldn’t have questioned your feelings in your original email. Forget his family for a minute and actually evaluate your feeling for this man. Read that M. Scott Peck book and get embarrassingly introspective.
It’s only fair to him that you figure out how deep your feelings actually are before this goes any further. There’s no point in dragging something out that has an ending in plain sight.
