So, let’s just cut the fat on this one. I'm a gay male in his mid 20s who has been in a monogamous relationship for the past three years. My partner is understanding, patient, loving and of course, hot. What this boils down to is that I have had this deep fantasy about “cocooning”. Cocooning is a fantasy I have come up with myself and it drives me insane.
In my imagination, I would be the caterpillar and a group of men would be the “silk”. Without being too graphic, the caterpillar would be bound with his legs and arms behind his back, while the rest jerked off onto the caterpillar creating the “silk”. It’s basically a big circle jerk, fun and willing, but at the end, the caterpillar has to lay still, and then break free from the silk (now dried semen), just like a caterpillar emerging from a cocoon.
I know it sounds crazy, but this is my ultimate fantasy, and it has been for a long while. My partner and I are very open, and do some crazy shit, but he has a tendency to be jealous. Whenever we have tried to do group sex it always results in some kind of blow up later.
Anyways, I can’t stop thinking about the cocoon circle jerk and I really, really want to do this. However, I also don’t want to freak him out, anger him or start a giant fight over this. Obviously, I want my partner involved in the execution of this fantasy. Do you think exposing this fantasy is going to ruin my relationship? Is this anything I should avoid saying when I bring this up to my boyfriend? How do I make it clear that it’s not the other dudes that interest me, but the overall fantasy? Please help.
I really appreciate people with very specific sexual fantasies. It’s like someone gifting you a piece of homemade furniture verses crap from IKEA. Homemade is hand-crafted, one-of-a-kind, yet slightly fucked up. In a word: special. Your fantasy is a homemade coffee table with a few dents in the side. It’s precious, like some stupid drawing a kid did.
Everyone has their specific sexual fantasies. My buddy Jim Goad wrote a very detailed article about this thing with teeth, or lack there of. He gets hard for women who have the right kind of fucked up teeth (imagine the upper right cuspid missing, not an entire jaw of rotten chompers). Is this common? Probably not. The point being is that we’ve all got our thing. There is no use in struggling to figure out why this is your ultimate fantasy (everyone is some kind of fucked up), so let’s work on getting you into that cocoon.
If you and your boyfriend have been together for three lovely years, then I’d like to assume that you trust one another. I don’t think he’s going to leave you over your fantasy. He’ll probably ask, “What is wrong with you?” (In a loving tone, of course.) And then let the idea marinate for a bit.
Give him time to think. Don’t expect an answer right away. I don’t know how kinky you two get, but if it’s usually on the vanilla spectrum he may be blindsided by the cocoon. I mean, it’s really just a circle jerk with very specific rules. The guys jacking off onto you don’t have to know that you are pretending to be a caterpillar.
Partners usually get jealous in group sex because too much attention is paid to the wrong body. In your cocoon fantasy, you are just laying there, being jacked off on, so the likelihood of your boyfriend becoming jealous is slim. Just don’t gaze up at one dick too long.
I say tell your boyfriend. Go for it. Just explain it exactly the way you did to me: “The other dudes don’t interest me, but the overall fantasy.” Your words, not mine. Drill this idea into his head and he could possibly be down with making your dreams come true.
I wish you luck, my little caterpillar. And I hope one day you emerge from the silk a butterfly.
