The other day I had a "Wet Dream."
I decided against the "BBC," though I may try it next time. And my partner was into "50 Shades of Grey," so I decided to pass on that. The pinkest of the group (the "Bachelorette") didn't really strike my fancy. A friend that came with us decided to go salty and had the savoury option that comes with an actual wiener.
We are, of course, talking about waffles, from Lil Willy's Wafflehouse, a pop-up shop specializing in frosted phalluses that recently launched at 417 Industrial Ave in Strathcona.
While the location is slightly off the beaten path, it seems we weren't the only ones up for trying out the penile-themed snack. The line was short when we showed up, but it soon grew, sticking out into the parking lot. If the line is long when it's wet out, a tent might be good.
At the counter, we were greeted by William, who guided us through the aforementioned options. For $8.50 you can get a frosted penis waffle (vanilla, chocolate, strawberry or Earl Grey); for a bit more you can get it topped. He suggested graham crackers (which my partner gladly went with for her Earl Grey flavoured waffle).
I went with sprinkles.
There are a few things that catch the eye while they prepare your waffle in front of you. For one thing, the icing covers it, but the naked waffle is surprisingly veiny. I guess waffle irons are good at detail.
However, for those prone to giggling, the icing is probably the highlight, because the waffle isn't just the twig. It's the berries as well. And to get proper coverage the waffle guy carefully dips what can only be described as the head of the waffle in the icing and then, lightly, cups the base.
His focus and gentleness are only undercut by what he's holding.
The actual waffle is pretty good, which is a bit surprising given the fact it all looks a bit gimmicky. It's a pretty simple waffle, light and fluffy on the inside.
The "Wet Dream" is the vanilla version, literally, which works well. With the sprinkles, it's a bit more like a birthday cake than I would have hoped, but that's more on me for choosing that combo. The Earl Grey/graham crackers option is a solid choice. The crackers add a bit more texture, while the sprinkles melted in the thick, warm, white icing.
Some penis waffles in other cities come cream-filled, but Lil Willy's is sticking with iced, other than their savoury option, the 'Japa Glizzy', which has a wiener - a hot dog - jammed in it. I didn't get my mouth on one, but it looked pretty good.
Lil Willy's is open Friday to Sunday noon to 7 p.m. for the summer.
And no, you can't buy the adorable Lil Willy key chains...yet.
