Okay, so, maybe that headline is a tad harsh and over-dramatic. But, I cannot escape how I feel about The Wave. I do not like The Wave. I have never liked The Wave. It has haunted me, tormented me and chased me for decades.
The time has come for me to stand against it. Boldly. Bravely. Defiantly. For, dear reader, I am the hero you need. Or, something like that.
If you are confused as to what The Wave even is, allow me to explain. Also: congratulations on waking from the coma you have apparently been in since the early 80s.
The Wave is actually an example of metachronal rhythm (you’re welcome for the physics lesson) that occurs in a crowded sporting venue, usually at the behest of a bleacher-tyrant who has imbibed one too many over priced libations.
The first recorded The Wave is purported to have happened at a ballgame in Oakland in 1981; it was a playoff game between The Athletics and The Yankees. Professional cheerleader Krazy George Henderson is said to have organized it. You’re welcome for the history lesson.
Here’s more info directly from Wikipedia which I was too lazy to paraphrase: “successive groups of spectators briefly stand, yell, and raise their arms. Immediately upon stretching to full height, the spectator returns to the usual seated position.”
The result is something that looks kind of like a wave, cresting around the stadium in one continuous motion. And I hate it.
Over the years I have tried to unpack why I hate The Wave. I mean, if people are having fun with it, why should I take any issue with that? I suppose I’ll tell you, or I wouldn’t have submitted this article.
Firstly, I don’t like being told what to do. The Wave represents the kind of forced and mandatory participation I reject. I love standing up for the seventh inning stretch and belting out “Take Me Out To The Ballgame.” But if someone is sitting down, neither stretching nor singing, I don’t give them the stink eye. I let them be. Again, because I’m a hero.
Also, The Wave seems to always pop up during crucial and highly dramatic points of a ballgame. If it’s a blowout and the home team is down 10 runs in the 8th or 9th inning: start your stupid Wave, Neptune. But if we got a close game, with runners on base: give me a little focus, Poseidon!
I know by writing this I am outing myself as a curmudgeon. Baseball is often accused of being anti-fun, boring and stale. But I promise you, I am a progressive fan!
I love bat flips and wild celebrations! I’m a fan of the pitch clock and the ghost runner on second base in extra innings. I also adore the Savannah Bananas and their chaotic Banana Ball rules.
But The Wave? The Wave breaks me. See what I did there? You didn’t? Oh, well let me explain: Waves of water “break” and I used that word as a “pun.” I think. Once again, I am a hero.
Tell me how you feel about The Wave: Why you love it, why you hate it, why you couldn’t care less. And as always, see you at The Nat!
