I’m not sure if skateboarding attracted me to alleys, or if alleys attracted me to skateboarding, but when going from point a to b, I always take the alley.  So it’s no surprise that I have an affinity for dumpsters.  I often giggle when I see all the stuff left next to a dumpster, as if the mere proximity would make the junk disappear…or maybe the junk came from inside the dumpster?  I often wonder if a dumpster could talk….what would it say?

“Burp….”

Or in this case…”My eyes are bigger than my lid…”?

And this is all I wanted to post.  A picture…a funny little comment….that’s what I do….

“Hey! Are you taking pictures to DO something about this mess?”

I had barely even pulled my camera out, when I heard this from above.  A Harry Dean Stanton meets Jerry Garcia type occupying one of the apartments had been watching me.  In hindsight, I think he watches everything in the alley.  Hmm…what kind of person spends time watching what goes on in an alley?

What do you tell this guy?

‘Sorry…I’m not going to do anything about this…in fact I’m going to take a picture of it and post it on the internet along with…if I’m clever enough….a silly little comment.’

Do I lie?  Do I run?  Why do those always seem to be my only two options?

“You know the office is right there…I’m just trying to be a good tenant and those slumlords aren’t doing anything around here.  You better go to the office?

The office?  No Way.  Pretty much from the time I was in kindergarten til…now…. being told to go to the office is like being told to walk the plank…without eyepatches and swords.  As a kid in school you could pretty much make any kid younger than you cry, by grabbing his arm and telling him or her repeatedly, ‘You’re going to the office!’.  And now?  Sure volountarily…I’ll go to the office…’Hey Bill…yeah…I’m workin’ hard….or hardly working!  Hey…what is with the Canuck’s power play huh?”  sure..I do that.  But if I ever get….’Jef…can I see you in my office?’  Get ready, it’s never good….

“Why was I suppose to go to the office anyhow?”

“What the hell am I going to do once I get there?”

“Why am I listening to this guy?”

“Does this guy actually think: people with cameras make things happen!?”

These are all very valid questions, all of which I overlooked.  Not listening and blindly doing what people tell you to do, seem to be totally at totally opposite ends of incompetency , but somehow I have mastered them both, I have the whole spectrum down.  In this case, you can guess which one I applied to the situation, as I walked up the stairs and opened the door to the office, completely going against everything I have ever learned about offices.

“Excuse me…who are you?”  Was the first thing the property manager asked the moment I opened the door….good question…who the hell am I?

Before I could answer, his lackey…his muscle…side kick…piped up…’Oh…he lives right there,’ pointing to my house.

“Oh…I’m sorry..what can I help you with?” asked the property manager.

I had no idea what difference this made…somehow by living across the alley qualified me for a ‘sorry’….hey..it’s Vancouver and now he was asking me what I could help him with….

I remembered.

“Uh…do you think you guys could do something about that pile of garbage…I’m really worried about……..rats?”

“OH of course!  JANET!’  He yelled to his imaginary secretary in the adjacent room, “didn’t I tell you to get that garbage out of here? ” as he rushed me out the door…”Don’t worry…we’re on it!”

As I walked back down the stairs I wondered….What just happened?  Did I just get a glimpse of what was behind the curtain?  When did everything change?  What that one of ‘those’ moments?

Naw….CLICK