Love is a Four Letter Word – Missy and Trey Geiger

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Missy Geiger, age 29, Lawyer (and Interior Decorator on Side (www.designproject.ca.) and Trey Geiger, age 33, Video Game Entrepreneur are different and quick to admit it.  They are not a finish each other’s sentences, have a lot in common kind of couple – on the surface.  But as you get to know them, it is very apparent that they are very similar in the ways that count.  Integrity, authenticity, honesty – remember those good old-fashioned values?  Missy and Trey exemplify them.

How long ago and how did you meet?

Missy:  Eharmony. The more people we tell, the more people say my cousin got married from eharmony or my sister fell in love with some one on eharmony.

Trey:  No one talks about it until you reveal that you’ve done it.  I was a mountain man, outdoorsy, she calls it ah…

Missy:  Mountain goat.  If you can picture what that looks like.

Trey: I did a lot of backcountry skiing, I worked in the video game industry and both of those things don’t really add up to meeting a lot of good girls.

Missy:  I was very social.  I met guys at the gym, but I couldn’t meet the kind of guy that I wanted to.  The dating scene in Vancouver tends to be quite shallow and non-committal and I wanted to get married and have a family.  Eventually in my dating life, I would tell people right away: this is what I want and if it scares you that’s fine, just don’t call me anymore.   So I went online. Trey invited my dog, Bear, on the first date. He was a month old and my most important possession in the whole world.  We had dinner and watched the fireworks.  We stayed talking on the beach until 3 in the morning.  And there were no games.  He would ask me out on the next date before the first one had ended.

Trey:  And you were like that too and that’s very rare.

What drew you to him/her when you first met?

Missy:  The lack of gaming playing, not having to wait three days for a phone call.  If he felt a certain way he would tell me.  He would take me to the doctor’s right away or help babysit the dog if I had to be in court.  I know that doesn’t sound very romantic but it is in its own way.

Trey:  Well she’s beautiful.  And incredibly outgoing and social and genuine is the most important thing.  So many people are shallow. Eharmony makes you go through their site, you can’t just  drunk text somebody “hey you’re hot, lets go to the Roxy.” It makes you play your cards and asks you real questions.  We sent novels back and forth before we even met.

Missy:  We got to know each other before we met in person, which helps.

Couples often have shared memories that they talk about again and again, what are some of those special moments or memories that you still talk about?

Missy:  Our first trip together to Salt Spring Island for the Jazz Festival.  We did a lot of wine tasting, went to the cheese factory and brought the dog. Also, Bowen Island where we first said “I love you”

The marriage proposal is a great story: I was at work and my colleague asked me if I could go out for drinks after, but I was supposed to go to a party.  So I said no, and he said “it’s been a long week, let’s shut down early” I ordered all this food and drinks for every one at the office and Trey showed up as a surprise.  Then he said, “hurry up, you have to go, there’s a plane waiting for you”. That was when I knew he was going to propose but I had no idea where we were going or what he was doing.  I went down to the Seaplane dock and he took my car to park it for the weekend. I’m alone, in my heels with nothing except my purse, and they are there with all my luggage and they say “Hi Missy, we’ve been waiting for you”.  We landed in Poet’s Cove [on Pender Island] and went to our room.  Our song was playing and there was champagne and my favourite flowers, peonies.  I knew what was happening so I kept taking pictures of everything.  Trey said “come on, let’s go out to the balcony” because the sun was setting, but I kept taking pictures. Eventually, he dragged me out to the balcony, got down on one knee and proposed at sunset. We didn’t call anyone or tell anyone for a full 24 hours. We wanted to enjoy it.

What are your favourite spots in Vancouver for a date?

Trey: North Shore Burgoo.

Missy: We love food and wine.  A couple nights a week, we come home from work and have a cheese platter and a bottle of wine.

What is the secret to your relationship?

Missy:  Sex.  [laughter] I’m just kidding.  I think … well I’ll let you speak because I always talk.

Trey: It is being selfless, self-aware, honest and acting for both of you.

Missy:  We bounce a lot of things off each other. Any major decision we talk everything through. We’re open about everything. Every single day we download our day, anything that’s bothering us, any plans we have. We make sure we’re on the same page and comfortable with whatever is happening before it happens. We don’t worry that there is something going on that you don’t know about, even little things.

Is love a fourletter word?

Trey:  I don’t know what that means.

Missy: A four letter word is a swear word.

Trey:  A cuss word.  Sure, that doesn’t always mean bad, people can cuss because it’s exciting…

Missy:  …It’s f’ing good…

Trey: It takes you out of your comfort zone.  When I moved to Vancouver I was this single dude living in my tiny condo in Kits, every thing I did was about me and I was living in a bubble.

Missy:  I challenge you.

Trey:  We challenge each other.  We are better people because of it.

Missy:  We were very different when we met.  He was outdoorsy adventure guy and I’m always in heals, a city girl, I like to go out for dinner and he likes to go camping, and I would not be caught dead camping.  So we find a balance…

Trey:  And now she’s been camping.

Missy:  And he dresses nicely.

I have a time machine – what is the one thing that you would tell yourself about your partner before you met?

Missy: On our first date I had a feeling it might work out, I was telling myself this might be it.  So I would tell myself to get ready for the ride… [laughing]… your challenges.  Be more open minded to his stuff.

Trey: I probably would have told myself, hey Trey, you should probably go through your closet and get rid of some of your clothes.

What is the one thing he/she does that makes you crazy?

Missy: He splashes all over the bathroom, when he shaves, brushes his teeth, it doesn’t matter what he’s doing, there’s water…

Trey:  I’m an obsessive rinser, I like to rinse…

Missy: Before he brushes his teeth, he washes his arms up to his elbows, just to brush his teeth.

Trey:  I like to be clean.

Missy:  But then the whole bathroom is covered in water and I’m trying to plug in a curling iron.  So we have bathroom issues.

Trey:  I just got a book from your mom “Things every good husband should know.” I’m pretty sure per the advice of that book, there is no upside for me to answer that question.  The only thing that drives me crazy is that she drives me crazy and I love her.

Missy:  I think I know.

Trey:  What?

Missy: You hate when I sleep on the couch.

Trey: I don’t hate you for that.  I hate that she’s a better sleeper than me.  I’m an awful sleeper and she can sleep anywhere, everywhere.  And she’ll be sound asleep and I’ll be tossing and turning.

How do you know when he/she is upset?

Missy:  He doesn’t get upset with me very often, but he gets agitated, he’s sort of neurotic.   You’d have to see it, he gets very short tempered, agitated and grumpy and talks about the same thing over and over.  It’s usually about work and he’ll ramble.  When the topic has changed he’ll go back “And another thing…” But he never yells and he doesn’t swear. He’s pretty calm.

Trey: Missy is very boisterous and talkative and bubbly.  So when she’s not, she’s upset.  When she’s quiet.

What can you usually do to cheer him/her up?

Missy:  He needs to be calmed down.  I listen, he likes when I listen, but I also have to say “Don’t you think you’re over reacting?  Calm down it’s going to be fine.” I talk him off the ledge. And he usually says “yeah you’re right”.

Trey:  There’s usually something causing her to be upset.  I try to get to the bottom of it, if its something I did, usually she’ll tell me, if not I’ll prod. Flowers are always good. Peonies.