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Taking in a game of baseball on a summer’s day and/or eve is in itself a perfect experience. In my humble and simple opinion, you don’t even have to like baseball (or sports in general for that matter) to have a good time at the ballpark.
The beautiful game being played in front of you welcomes your attention but doesn’t demand it. Your time at a ballgame is truly yours to spend. Whether you're chatting, eating, drinking, cheering, jeering or taking a stroll…it’s all good and it’s all perfect.
By now, you might be wondering how and when I’m going to reconcile the headline of this piece with the content you’re currently reading. Or perhaps you haven’t read the headline yet. I’ll take a moment here to allow everyone to do so. Go ahead and read the headline and then meet me in the next paragraph. Or skip ahead, I don't care.
Great. I assume we are all on the same page now. Today, I am going to attempt to improve on perfection. Something that is widely described as impossible. Foolhardy even. Luckily, I was born with an inordinate amount of hubris, so look out! I’m taking some big swings today.
And just before we get into my ideas, I think it’s important to once again remind everyone, in case this is your first time here, I’m not a real journalist. I’m a washed-up burger spokesman who stumbled his way into a weekly article about baseball. I’m not here to break news or follow scoops. I’m here to muse, ponder, joke, share and, every now and then, inform. Not necessarily in that order and rarely at the same time.
So without any further ado, here are three ideas I had that might make a day at The Nat even more enjoyable than it already is.
1. Give one fan per game "Veto Power"
It’s always fun when fans win prizes at ballgames. When you see someone in your section being selected for something fun, at random, it makes you feel like anyone could be a winner. It gives you hope in this often bleak world. Maybe that’s too deep a take. The point is: we all love winning stuff at the ballpark. Why not make that more exciting by upping the prize ante from free food or fancy seats to…power?
I’m proposing that one fan per game is given the power to veto one call from the umpires. Whether it’s a ball or strike, balk or walk, safe or out that lucky fan would be able to reverse anything they please. Think of the drama and strategy as the whole stadium anticipates when the Veto will come. And imagine the tension if the random fan happened to be cheering for the opposing team.
2. Give the opposing team a run-down bullpen cart
We’ve all seen the bullpen cart the C’s use to bring in new pitchers. It’s a modified golf cart and it’s awesome. As of right now, the opposing pitchers are not driven to the mound in an adorable vehicle and must make their own way onto the field. Wouldn’t it be fun if we forced them to use a run-down junker of a bullpen cart? One that was always breaking down and emitted a lot of smoke and backfires every time you start it up? Like Archie’s jalopy...but worse.
3. Give consequences in the Sushi Race
As you may know, I have far too many opinions on the Sushi Mascot Race that takes place at The Nat. Well…here’s one more. Make the race have actual, real-life consequences. Whether it’s banishment for the loser or a large cash prize for the winner, making the race a little more high stakes might reinvigorate it.
So there ya go. Do you have any ideas to improve on perfection? Let me know. As always you can find me at The Nat.
